Boris Johnson’s Balls Found On Wimbledon Common | Gossip

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Fortuitous Find Could Save Brexit | The Void

Boris Johnson and his government this evening revealed their intense emotions after being told a dog walker had found Boris’s missing testicles in a Sainsbury’s carrier bag on Wimbledon Common.

Mr Johnson described it as a ‘huge moment’ and also ‘a very moving thing’ while admitting he was ‘quite emotional’ after he got the news of the fortuitous find.

DOG WALKER: “I have very keen eye sight. At first I thought someone had discarded the peas from a Pot Noodle”

However, speaking on the day that his new Covid-19 tier system was implemented across England, Mr Johnson warned …

“The worst thing now would be for police to hand them back to Carrie in a carrier bag!”

A spokesman for The Prime Minister said it would be wrong to think it is

“game over”, this is not the end, and we can replace them.”

He then urged people to take the Kung Flu vaccine.

Now that the former eunuch has been reunited with his missing danglers hopes will rise for a braver, more confident Boris, but the find may have come too late to save tragic Britain said one scientist.



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